The Garden and The Flower

The Union Path Podcast - The Garden and The Flower
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So there's this idea I've been pondering lately, and that really is one of the interesting little subtle, sublime qualities of life.

We have ideas come in. That we really like, that seem to hold something for us, that seem to show us something. And when we dive into these ideas, really try to see what they're about,

we can be awed and amazed by what they show us, by what they portend, by the meaning embedded within them.

Even if we don't really get any of that at first, even if it's just kind of that, you know, little tingle little, oh, that's interesting.

And we sit with these ideas and more and more and more can pour out of it the longer we sit with it.

It's kind of funny how life and inspiration kind of seems to work that way. We can be pondering a question, pondering a confusion, pondering some missing element,

and then have an idea show up where first we may not even realize the connection, but then if we sit with it, if we explore it,

these connections of this insight, this epiphany can be revealed. And so what I've been thinking a lot lately is the idea of a flower and a garden.

One of the funny things about being a human being is our predilection towards thinking in terms of separateness, of individuality, of objects existing alone and independently.

When I think with even a cursory amount of awareness, we can break through that pretty easily. We can hold that idea up to a level of critical awareness and see there's a lot more going on.

Things are far more interdependent and intertwined than at first blush they would seem to be.

And so I think about this idea of the flower in the garden that at the most obvious superficial level, we think of these things as two things.

We have a garden, we put a flower in it, or we look at the flower and we can appreciate it within the garden environment, but we're focusing on the flower.

There are two things, but I think if we explore concepts like this a little deeper, I think it's hard to argue that on some level, perhaps on the deepest level, those two things are actually one thing.

The flower is the garden, and the garden is the flower. That it's impossible at a deep enough level to separate object from environment and vice versa, because objects are often products of their environment, and environment is a collection of objects.

So what does this mean? What is, why is this an interesting, or why is this even a valid idea? Well, I think it's a really interesting metaphor to look at in terms of life.

To look at in terms of our own lives, how we are both a flower and a garden. How we are both an individual thing, as well as the aggregate of our environment.

And at some level, it's impossible to separate ourselves individually from the facets and effects of the environments and circumstances we find ourselves in.

We're making our world as much as our world is making us. It's not one thing. It's not us and the world. It's both.

And so when we're going through our lives, thinking about our experience, our experience as these flowers growing towards something,

displaying and expressing our own individual characteristics and beauty, it's impossible to separate that expression from the environment.

To go back to our analogy, our metaphor, if we have a flower and a garden, and we remove that flower, it's no longer the same garden,

and we remove that flower and put it somewhere else, it's no longer the same flower. That flower will react and respond and grow according to its environment.

That environment will be affected by the inclusion of this flower. And so when we look at our lives, when we look at, especially creating change in our lives, but even when we really try to bring full awareness to ourselves, to our experience,

we really do have to look at things as a whole. We have to look at our own ideas, attitudes, behaviors, contributions to the environment around us,

and environment being everything from when and where we currently find ourselves to all of the interactions we create with the people, places, things around us,

it really does end up being one continuum. Our lives are the result of not only our contribution, but the contribution of our environment around us, back to us.

It's out and in, it's internal and external. It's one of those truths, one of those big ideas where we realize, things are a lot bigger, a lot more complicated, a lot more nuanced, a lot more involved than perhaps we would think on first blush.

Because when we look at our lives, when we look at how things actually are, how things actually are for us,

we really have to look at our involvement, our responsibility, our agency in what's happening to us, as well as the effects of what's actually going on.

The influence that things around us have on us. But our life is the summation of the interplay between what's going on inside of us and what's going on outside of us.

It's a symphony of internal, external, and we can influence and affect our experience by making changes, by experiencing changes on one or both sides.

But when we look at things as, two things actually being one, obviously that's the time where ideas like balance really come into play.

That, on one hand, it can be easy to have the overconfidence that we ourselves do everything and create everything that happens to us.

On the other hand, especially in times of struggle or pain, it can be really easy to feel victimized by the overwhelming forces and factors around us that we feel stimied, we feel stuck,

we feel in bondage, by what's happening to us. Because on some level our external is a reflection of our internal, but we can also do the opposite. We can also let the external influence us to the point where we start reflecting it internally as well.

That's a really interesting idea that no matter how much we think otherwise, we're always affected and impacted by our environment, and our environment is always affected and impacted by us.

We're always taking in what we're experiencing and no matter how much we try to ignore or rationalize or explain away how things don't really affect us, don't really bother us,

aren't really taking an outsized level of importance and distinction in our own lives, but the truth is what's happening to us is affecting us, and what we're doing is affecting everything around us.

I think one of the things I like about this idea so much is it really feels like it points towards truth, but like a lot of truths, it doesn't really point towards any easy answers.

It just seems to kind of make things harder, makes it harder to really kind of think through all the myriad variables and situations. This really complicated cocktail, this really involved chemistry in our lives, of what actually creates our life experience.

And where this gets really hard are times where we want to create change. We want to do something different. We want to be something different. We want to have something different happen.

We want to shift our lives in some direction that feels like it would at least be better, but on some level it would be more appropriate. It would be better fit, we'd be more at home.

And in times where we're really endeavoring to create those kinds of outcomes, it can be really difficult not to get overwhelmed by just how much there is to manage,

how much there is to think about, how much there is to be aware of. But it doesn't necessarily have to be that complicated. It doesn't necessarily have to be that involved.

Because the point of access, the point of adjustment that we have in our lives, is to really make contact with the deepest part of ourselves.

Really get to know who and what we actually are on a deep level, and then act from that place, express that nature, find that fullness.

And often just by doing that, we can witness our environment changing around us. It's kind of funny, I believe someone spends a lot of time and effort really getting to know themselves, are really honest and really truth seeking,

and really striving after the questions of who am I really? What am I really, what actually matters to me on the deepest level I can possibly access?

And when we endeavor after these questions, what we learn about ourselves as we descend deeper and deeper,

as we break through the superficial judgements and patterns, through the rote and repetitive thinking and beliefs that we've held onto for a really long time,

and we actually discover something new, something more profound, something that feels more real. That feels more ancient in a way, but we're just really discovering it often for the first time. So it feels new as well.

It can feel like a breakthrough, can feel like a great innovation. But the irony or the paradox is we're really just discovering what we really were all along. And oftentimes that discovery takes breaking through all the false selves, all the false behaviors, all the lack of truth that we've been living from.

And on that journey, we may encounter a lot of things we don't really like. We may discover we're not actually as kind and noble as we thought we were. We're absolutely not as honest as we thought we were, because in order to maintain these false selves, there has to be a fairly significant level of deception.

Deception directed towards ourselves, towards others, towards maintaining the image of the person we're trying to project. But the funny thing is once we figure out who we really are, we really don't have to try that hard anymore. We really don't have to invent some sort of impressive persona.

It's really more about removing the obstacles in the way of being who and what we really are, than fashioning and bolting on some artificial and conjured self. And so when we think about our life experience, when we think about how our lives are going, when we think about how we actually feel about things, what is this life like for us?

What do we want? What do we believe we're actually here for? What is all this in service of? What are we doing? The answers to those questions can really only be found internally, can really only be found by rediscovering and reacquainting ourselves with ourselves.

Because that's the thing right there, right? Like how can these be these two selves? How can it really be this me and this real me or this self and this deeper self?

That's paradoxical right there. Because we think of ourselves in individual terms, we don't really want to now split that individual into two.

Because, of course, we are only one. We've always only been one. And if we see our two selves, if we see the person we really are, and we juxtapose that with the person we're being,

and we find those are not the same thing, maybe they're even polar opposites, well, that's just conflict we've created within ourselves.

That's been a manufactured incongruence, that's us bending and shaping the spirit energy that flows through us into some completely artificial, invented self. And I think that ultimately is what leads people on any kind of spiritual journey. Is to find a way to reconcile that and find a way to clean that up.

Because when there's conflict between selves, when there's even the existence of multiple selves, we feel it. We know we're not existing in a way that's pure. We know there's some adulteration. We know there's some contamination in our experience because we ourselves are not united.

We're fractured and aligned against ourselves. We're taking the spirit energy that flows through us and bending it and refracting it in ways to where our expression in life is modified. And we can feel it. We can feel when we're not integrated. We can feel when we're not aligned. We can feel when we're bending and modifying and adulterating the energy that flows through us.

Conversely, we can feel when we're not doing that. It's my belief that's what a flow state is. That's what ecstasy and rapture are. I think you can make the argument that's what enlightenment is. These are states. These are states of being in line within ourselves.

These are states of being our true selves, and allowing spirit energy, or life, or however you want to define it, to flow through us purely,

to not corrupt that energy through our own ideas of who and what we should be and what we should be doing.

True, aligned, authentic expression is obvious. When we do it, we know it. When we connect with it, we can feel it. We don't have to wonder, it's not confusing. When us as the flower is really one with our garden, we bloom and express the beauty of our true selves, and we enrich our garden by doing this.

We find ourselves living full, rich, beautiful lives, because we're no longer dictating that our expression needs to be something other than a reflection of who we really are deep down on the inside.

When we bring forth and bring into the world expression that starts from the beautiful golden light essence that we are in the inside,

and is allowed to flow freely and fully through us and out of us, that's when life gets great. That's when we feel at home. That's when we're happy.

But the problem is there's no easy way to do this. There's no formula. There's no given set of circumstances that anyone can achieve that will provide this on a reliable basis.

That's why chasing after anything on the outside, anything external ultimately lets us down. If we think I'll be whole, complete and happy if I just have this one certain thing, if I just have this perfect partner, this perfect house, this perfect possession,

this perfect experience, this perfect social media feed, whatever it is. Ultimately when we look for our completeness outside of us only, we'll be let down.

This isn't news. We've heard this story a million times. How many people do we look at? How many celebrities and billionaires do we look at and aspire after and say,

if I could only have that, if I could only be that, boy, I don't really have this life thing wired. I'd finally feel good. I'd finally be good. But what do we hear over and over again? We hear from these very same people that they thought the same thing too.

And once they achieved whatever they achieved, there was no there there, it wasn't enough, it just led them on to achieve more. We have so many ideas that achieving something specific will create a specific outcome, but the linkage is not that tight, or at the very least,

it's a very simplistic way of looking at things that just doesn't seem to have any bearing in reality. Yet, this is our culture. This is what we're taught, this is what we're led to believe is the promised land, what we're all looking for, more.

I just need to have more. I just need to expand in some critical area of my life and then things will be great. And so I believe this is not only wrong headed, but it's a setback, that the more we move towards these achievements that we think will fix us,

the more we don't realize that we're not moving towards what we're really looking for at all. At best, this is a tangential path. And that once we achieve it, sure we have, may have a few moments, maybe even a month or two of feeling great. But then what? What now? Well, on to the next.

And so in a lot of ways these things we pursue so doggedly, so diligently end up being kind of like drinking sea water. It may satisfy our insatiable thirst in the moment, but ultimately it just makes us more thirsty.

Because it's not really supporting us, it's not really giving us what we really need, because of course not because it's so wildly out of balance. We can't use our outsides to fix our insides.

That we can't just think, well, if I can just move into my dream home or get my dream job or move to my dream city, everything will just be golden. Because I think anyone who's really tried that will tell you that sure, some things are better, but I'm still me. I'm still the same person doing the same things. Albeit in a different place,

results kind of end up feeling the same after that little bit of initial excitement wears off. It's more of a regression to the mean, kind of how things have always been for us.

And so when we think about pursuing things that are meaningful to us, that absolutely is part of the puzzle. We're alive we're here, we're clearly supposed to be doing things.

But that's not the entire thing. The things that we're doing need to be aligned with who we really are. The things that we're doing need to be anchored to something more real than just the achievement itself.

The fuel that we run on needs to come from deep inside and our experiences need to replenish that fuel.

We are the garden. We are the flower. As a flower, yes, we need to be in an environment that actually supports and nurtures us,

but we need to understand that we add back to that environment too. It's one whole, and ultimately what makes the awareness and the recognition of these ideas so profound.

It's kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. That what we're looking for, we had all along, we just weren't doing it.

We just couldn't see it because of course we couldn't. Life is set up that way. We're supposed to experience disappointment.

We're supposed to feed the base parts of ourselves, whether it be vanity or ego or what have you, to have them fail us. That's precisely the point.

Because we need to learn something really valuable, that these things aren't what we're looking for, and to really learn that lesson conclusively,

to learn it deeply enough so it'll actually change our perspective, change our behavior, these things have to fail us completely and consistently.

We are led to the truth by first experiencing things that aren't true. We're led through this life, born into this human experience of separateness in individuality,

so that we can progress through it and achieve unity on the other side. That's what makes the game so compelling is the irony in it.

We come from a unity to experience individuality, to find a way to reclaim our unity again, it's this great game of hide and seek where the goal that we're looking for,

we already had, and we still have. It's right in front of us. It's closer than right in front of us. It's within us. And so when all these external saviors break down, as painful as it is, it's really a gift. It's really doing us the kindness of disabusing us of falsehood, and leading us back towards the truth.

Our job, our part is to have the courage and the wherewithal to really be able to see this, and really be able to integrate it.

To take these failures and allow them to lead us back, lead us toward the truth, lead us toward what we're actually looking for, what we're actually here for.

To encourage and nurture the growth that we're trying to create, not only within ourselves, but within everything around us. To take in this amazing life and give back something that adds onto it. And that's the perpetual cycle of existence.

That's the garden and the flower, each nurturing and supporting and growing off of one another, as one whole, one life, one being.